Anticipation During the Holiday Season
This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 11/29/21.
“It’s so much easier to say goodbye after Thanksgiving than it is after Christmas,” I remarked to my mom this weekend as we waved goodbye to my brothers and wished them safe travels back to their city and college town.
That anticipation – the reassurance that this isn’t over yet… we’re just getting started… there’s more to come – signals to me that we’re fully in the festive season (which, in my opinion, is culturally festive, doesn’t mean a holiday has to be celebrated in a religious fashion).
I love the holidays and, even more, I love the holiday season. Winter wardrobes suddenly include an element of red and green or glitter or sequins among the black and the gray. Normal coffee cups are adorned with festive, fun designs. Homes, streetlights, store windows are decorated with care, twinkle lights, and garland. Something typical – like an everyday commute – turns into a spectacle of wonder and awe.
But sometimes this season arrives… and I freeze. Even though I look forward to this time all year, work gets busy, life stressors pop up, and I decide the best plan of action is to put my head down and just focus on getting to Christmas (which is the holiday my family celebrates). And then Dec. 25 comes and goes in a blink of an eye and that magical season is gone until next year. Bah, humbug!
There’s an interesting 2010 Dutch study that found vacationers experienced their highest level of happiness in the weeks and months beforea trip. When they returned, happiness levels dropped back down to about the same as those who took no trip at all. As caveated here, too much anticipation among the vacationers could backfire if one imagines vacation will put them in a state of constant bliss (of course things will go wrong and not according to plan), but the main finding from the study still resonates with me… it’s the anticipation that effectively stokes excitement and, by proxy, happiness.
I think the same can be applied to the holiday season. When I just focus on getting to Christmas – as if it was a finish line in a race – I’m missing out on all the joyful anticipation that is possible during the month of December. And not to mention, also putting a lot of pressure on just one day!
This is something I’m reflecting on this week. How can I savor the anticipation of the holiday season this year? To answer that, here are the three things I’m thinking about:
- Defining what I want this season to be about.. for this year. Time this next month is going to pass whether or not we think about how we are spending it. Just pausing to consider what we actually want this season to be about can vastly increase the chances of time spent mindfully. I think for me I want this holiday season to be about everyday cheerfulness and a break in routine. I’m so excited to be in Chicago this December (stayed in FL last year!). I want to enjoy the feeling of life being a little fuller and richer for the next couple weeks. Plus, a break in routine will make me excited to get back to one in January ;). Maybe for you the hope is that this season is about relaxing or reconnecting with loved ones or something else entirely.
- Deciding how I’ll approach the season. I laughed out loud when I heard the hosts on this podcast episode say, “this isn’t the most wonderful time of the year… it’s just the MOST time of year.” It’s so true! There are just so many things. The magic in defining the “what” in the above step is that it can serve as guide for the “how.” Which activities are most meaningful based on your “what” and – more importantly – which things can go? I love a tradition as much as the next person, but not every holiday season is going to look the same. What things are most meaningful for this year?
- Finding ways to remind myself of the experiences I’m having. While I love Coach Ted Lasso’s advice to “be a goldfish,” I think in this instance, our goldfish-like tendency works against our intention to savor. Almost every month when I sit down to write my monthly recap, I start by thinking how fast the month went by. But by the time I finish reflecting on the month and recalling those small moments and memories, my perception of time has changed. For this holiday season, I want to give myself two reminders. I plan to find a way to add festive items to my to-do list or weekly plan in advance (reminding myself I’m going to be experiencing something fun and increasing the chances I’ll actually do so) and I want to document the festivity in a simple list or photo album to reference after the fact.
I’m excited to see how this goes! But what do you think? Do you particularly like this season? How do you go about savoring it? I’d love to hear. 🙂
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