Why is this newsletter only sent on Mondays?
This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 8/3/20.
This newsletter is intentionally only sent on Mondays. In part, it’s because of my love for Mondays and because of the alliteration with my name/the word “motivation.” But there is also a deeper meaning for why this email is not a daily motivational newsletter.
At my core, I am passionate about making an effort to start the week on a positive note… but I am also realistic in my expectations. I do expect to have a great week every week, but I don’t expect every day of the week to be great.
Optimism has always been an important cornerstone in my life and cheerfulness is one of my favorite qualities about myself. But I’ve also made a lot of progress in this area. In the past, I’ve probably teetered on the edge of toxic positivity. I’ve learned that true optimism does not mean immediately shutting down or suppressing any “unhappy” feelings. Now, I see true optimism as feeling those unhappy feelings, taking the time to move through them and knowing that you will again reach for joy when you are ready.
I want to emphasize that I am in no ways a trained professional. As you read today’s newsletter, please keep in mind that my writing is a product of my perspective and my experiences. While I always hope that this newsletter provides value, the absolute best way to get help with anything related to mental health (no matter how big or small) is by finding a mental health professional or expert that’s right for you. Taking care of our mental health is so important and you are ALWAYS worth it.
This mindset shift came from something I heard two years ago. I was listening to this interview with Alison Brod (of Alison Brod Marketing & Communications) and at minute 37, Alison was asked about common mistakes young people make when jumping into careers. Her answer was: “Just because you are doing what you love does not mean you love every minute and every day. I love doing this, but I don’t love every minute.”
As I write out that quote, the concept seems so simple. But two years ago, hearing this was honestly groundbreaking. As funny as it sounds, that quote gave me “permission” to feel like I could still be happy overall without needing to make happiness happen every minute of every day.
Now, this is different from settling or staying in detrimental situations or circumstances. But because negative memories are more salient than the positive memories, it’s sometimes necessary to remind ourselves of the positives to counteract the negatives that automatically ring loudly in our minds.
From that point on, when I felt down about a certain area of my life, I tapped into my inside voice and asked myself about how I was feeling at a high level. (At a high level, do I like my job and feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be right now? At a high level, do I love living in Chicago?)
With the answers to those questions, I could usually see that the discomfort I was feeling was coming from current circumstances and that I didn’t need to make a life-altering shift to feel better.
This thinking also helps me appreciate day-to-day life more. When reflecting on a previous week, I associate a “great” week with having 3 or 4 awesome days. Like I noted above, I don’t expect 7 great days, but I do strive for a majority. And if I have less than 3 or 4 great days in a week? No sweat – we get the gift of a Monday to start fresh each week. 🙂
I needed to remind myself of this mindset today. Lately it feels like the weeks fly right by me as I stay in the same spot (how is it August already?!). With all the unexpected changes that happened in the first half of the year, I find myself anxious over what may happen next.
This week, I’m determined to intentionally direct my attention to the good things happening in my day-to-day life. Our circumstances are all different, but I know we are all facing challenges as a result of this uncertain and anxious time. If you are struggling in this area like me, I hope you will consider joining me this week to find the good.
If that sounds interesting, I’ve included two examples below for how we can find the good. The first requires a bit more dedication as it is done on a daily basis. Alternatively, the second option is a bit less time consuming as it features just one question to answer a week. Read on for more!
Two Way to Find the Good Starting Right Now:
- A Joy Journal (Daily Basis): This idea is from Ingrid Fetell Lee’s book Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness. As you go about life this week, keep a “Joy Journal” (or start a list on your phone) and take note any time you feel a sense of joy. Pay attention to those moments when you smile or laugh, feel a subtle pleasant feeling or are tempted to say “Yay!” or “Wow!” At the end of the week, take inventory of how many things you wrote down. You may be pleasantly surprised by just how many things brought you joy! Maybe you initially thought the week wasn’t so great (negative memories are louder!), but after looking at the list, you are reminded of the plethora of happy moments. Or, maybe you are disappointed by how short your list is. If that’s the case, focus on what is on your list. How can you make those things happen more often?
- Favorite Moment From Last Week (Weekly Basis): At the beginning of each newsletter, we reflect on what we’re grateful for from the past weekend. I love doing this because it reminds me to pause and think about the good that happened the past two days before diving into a new week. So, let’s apply that thinking to a whole week. Pick a designated spot in your planner or start a note in your phone and once a week, jot down your favorite memory from the previous week. Next time you are feeling down, reference that list to remind yourself of some of the good things that have happened recently.
Are you in? Let me know if you plan to do one of the above. Looking forward to finding the good together this week!
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