What’s Going Right?

This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 9/14/20.

How are you feeling right now? What’s on your mind this morning? If you’re like me, you’ve probably already thought about your various to-dos for today, what needs to get done this week and the various problems and obstacles ahead of you.

It’s crazy how so many of these thoughts can happen automatically, right? But here’s a question: when was the last time you actively thought about what was going right and not just about what was going wrong?

This thought was posed to me last week when I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations. 

In this episode, Oprah was chatting with bestselling author Geneen Roth. Geneen is the author of many books and one of the first people to link eating and dieting with personal and spiritual issues that go far beyond food, weight and body image. I really enjoyed the conversation and Geneen’s overall message, but the part that resonated with me the most was when Geneen talked about “taking in the goodness all around” (fast forward to minute 26 if you want to listen). She remarked that multiple times a day she stops and asks herself, “what are three things going right?” 

The conversation took place back in 2017, but the suggestion feels more pertinent than ever. It’s human nature to remember negative experiences and thoughts more prominently than positive ones. It’s why we jump to the last page of a performance review to see where we need to improve and why we clearly remember that one critical comment instead of the ongoing positive messages. 

Unless we consistently remind ourselves of the good, we will automatically reach for the bad… and that’s especially true right now. If we are looking for what’s going wrong, we sure don’t have to look very hard to find something.

But the simple question of “what’s going right?” flips the script. It forces us out of that negative thought loop and reminds us of the good that is still happening among the bad.  

I’ve written before about a daily gratitude practice, but to me, this question feels different than thinking about what I’m grateful for. In particular, I really like that I can apply this question to my professional life. 

At work, I’m a problem solver. I am quick to focus on what’s going wrong, what needs to be fixed and then move on to whatever is next. I’m thankful for these skills, but I also think I would be a bit happier/less stressed if I took the time to recognize the wins among the problems. So, after listening to the podcast last week, I challenged myself to answer this question every day. I set an alarm on my phone to go off at 5:30 p.m. and at the end of each workday, I jotted down three things that were going well. 

Amazingly, even on the hard days, I was able to come up with three things. And on Friday afternoon, I took such satisfaction in glancing back at my lists and reminding myself of the various “wins” from the week. 

I’m excited to keep up the practice this week and wanted to share today in case it appealed to you as well. Maybe you’ll write the question on a post-it note and place it on your desk or set your own reminder to ask yourself this question a few times a day. In whichever way feels right to you, I hope the exercise brings you a small sense of happiness like it did for me.

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