What I Gained When I Lost My Wallet

This essay first appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 11/4/19.

I woke up last Monday more excited than usual. It was the first time this newsletter was being sent out! My eyes snapped open when my alarm went off at 5:10 am (central time) and I quickly grabbed my phone, checked my email and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the newsletter was in my own inbox. Minutes later, I got my first confirmation that the distribution list worked because my grandma (hi, Gram!) texted me confirming receipt of her newsletter. I jumped out of bed energized by the fact this was now out in the universe. This was going to be the best Monday ever!!

Fast forward 30ish minutes later, I was on the bus headed to my morning workout class. Quick pause – I feel the need to have a disclaimer with that statement. You need to know that I’ve been a morning person as long as I can remember and I bow down to those who can workout in the evening/after work. I am sharpest in the morning and start deteriorating promptly at 6 PM. Lol. Owning my love of morning workouts is me exercising my intention from last week (“Being Megan” :)). 

I got off the bus, headed to the barre studio and started putting my things away in my locker. My purse felt unusually light so I took a peek inside… and discovered my entire wallet had disappeared. 

Yep. Sometime between the time I took my wallet out to scan my Ventra card on the bus at 5:40 and when I put my purse away at 5:50, it had vanished. The studio didn’t have it, the bus driver (we’re on a first-name basis now) didn’t find it, CTA lost and found didn’t have it, it wasn’t on the street between the bus stop and the studio and it wasn’t in any of my pockets or crevices of my purse. 

The wallet was gone. This meant I was now without any credit card, ATM card, license, Ventra card, work ID badge, a Starbucks gift card from my grandma and a lucky $40. All before 6 am on Monday. 

NO! I thought. This is my perfect Monday!! WHY did this happen?!

But then, I had another thought. With texts coming in from friends about the newsletter, I thought, what if this is happening because of the newsletter? If this is happening for the newsletter, what is meaning I can find in this situation? 

I remembered something I heard Jess Keys, a Chicago-based blogger, say many months ago on her Instagram story. Jess had been at a conference and she quoted a speaker (can’t remember the original source) who said that circumstances turn into problems when you attach emotions to them. In the absence of emotions, circumstances are only circumstances. 

Circumstances + Emotions = Problems

Circumstances – Emotions = Circumstances 

It is such a simple formula and I cannot tell you how many times I think of it. It prevents me from spinning into unnecessary tizzies when I receive client feedback at work, when my flight is delayed and, most recently, when I lost my wallet on a Monday morning. 

The formula helps me identify the emotions I am feeling (like anger, frustration, annoyance, sadness) and detach them from the circumstances out of my control. When you pull those emotions away and clearly focus on only the circumstances, you really do feel the weight of the problem being lifted off your shoulders. 

In the instance of my wallet, I acknowledged that this was an annoying and highly inconvenient way to start my week, but looking at just the circumstances, I calmly identified the list of items I needed to replace, how I would go about getting the replacements and how I was going to solve for the in-between time without items like an ID or credit card.

And just like that, the “problem” turned into “just circumstances.” And circumstances don’t stand a chance to steal the joy of my perfect Monday. 🙂 

We are not in control of the circumstances that lay ahead of us this Monday. But we are in control of how we react to them. We are in control of allowing some circumstances to stay just circumstances instead of escalating into problems. What if today you tried using this formula when you feel those not-so-good feelings creeping in? 

If this formula resonates with you or if you have another tip that helps you protect your Monday joy, I would love to hear about it! 

Oh, and I recommend you learn from me and not keep all your cards in the same wallet. 🙂 

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