The Joy Freedom Can Provide

This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 5/4/20.

I’m reading an interesting book right now called Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness. 

Talk about a great title, right?! I saw it while perusing my library’s collection of e-books and promptly put myself on the wait list without bothering to read the description. 

I recently received access and am enjoying it so far. Although, I have to admit that it’s a little different than expected. I think I automatically assumed it would include “happiness hacks” or be about small habit tweaks. Instead, it’s the story of author and designer Ingrid Fetell Lee exploring how everyday spaces and objects have surprising and powerful effects on our moods. 

And while I’m gaining a lot of design ideas for how to infuse more joy into my apartment one day, a paragraph I read in the “Freedom” chapter last week felt especially pertinent considering our circumstances right now. I couldn’t wait to share it with all of you. 

In chapter three, Ingrid writes: “In a moment of joy, we are carefree, freewheeling, footloose and fancy-free. Some of the most joyful moments in life are the ones in which we gain a kind of freedom. Think of the ecstatic opening of school doors on the last day before summer break or the buzz in the office when the clock strikes five on Friday. Joy thrives on the alleviation of constraints.”

This message resonated with me. In addition to the examples Ingrid mentioned, I thought about the flutter of joy I’ve experienced when getting off an airplane after a flight, walking out of church on Sunday, finishing a workout class or receiving an open space in my calendar when a meeting is canceled. I see now the common thread among these examples is a sense of freedom. 

I also realized another commonality: I’m not able to experience a lot of these things right now. I’m not physically “leaving” the office on Friday afternoon or a church on Sunday right now. There won’t be “last day of school” celebrations this year. And I’m not traveling anywhere. 

My first thought after this realization was a feeling of validation. Maybe some of those not-so-happy feelings I’ve struggled with are a reflection of me missing a sense of freedom. 

I also thought about my two brothers, who should have been at college for the past eight weeks. Talk about losing a sense of freedom, right? The thought pushed me to think about how I could be more compassionate toward them because I know they are missing the joy that sense of freedom provided.  

I also wondered, if joy thrives on the alleviation of constraints (as Ingrid suggests), how can I still make sure I’m pursuing joy in a time when we face a lot of constraints that can’t be alleviated? 

In the book, Ingrid discusses how many of the most liberating places are found in nature. From a design standpoint, she provides research-based, tactical steps for harnessing a sense of freedom in our homes, including featuring nature motifs, houseplants, open space and fresh flowers, among other things.

If something as simple as fresh flowers can harness a sense of freedom in our homes, there has to be habits or behavioral tweaks we explore to experience a sense of freedom and create a little joy for ourselves. 

From the perspective of someone who is lucky enough to be staying at home right now, I took the time to jot down a few simple ideas that could inspire a sense of freedom. My list included things like: 

• Using commute time for a walk or run outside (weather permitting) 
• Acknowledging that wearing comfy clothes and not having to do my hair is a freedom unique to these circumstances 
• Finding an unnecessary meeting to cancel 
• Enjoying not having to prep my breakfast and lunch the night before 
• Cleaning out a closet or drawer and leaving it empty
• Zeroing out my work email inbox at the end of the day
• Treating myself to a second serving of a dessert I’m really enjoying 

Maybe for you it’s not setting an alarm clock a few days a week or saying yes to your kids staying in pajamas all day or having ice cream for dinner on a rare occasion. If this is resonating with you like it’s resonated with me, I highly encourage you to spend some time thinking of simple ways to alleviate a few of the constraints in the life in hopes that it infuses some everyday joy into your life. 

After all, don’t underestimate the power of starting small. A fulfilling week starts with just one fulfilling day. Likewise, finding just one moment of joy – maybe from doing something that gives you a sense of freedom – can lead to a more joyful day.

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