Mother’s Day Interview With My Mom!

This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 5/11/20.

Happy (Belated) Mother’s Day to all the moms, grandmas, aunts and mom-like figures out there! I love this reminder to thank and love on all of the inspiring mom-like role models in our lives. 

Thinking about Mother’s Day and how my mom is the first person I go to for inspiration or advice, I thought it might be fun to shake things up a bit this week. Below I “interview” my mom and we discuss a variety of topics from quarantine to reaching for joy to past advice she would give her younger self.

It was so fun to talk with my mom about these things. Maybe something in the below will resonate with you or maybe you’ll be inspired to reach out with similar questions to someone you look up to. Either way, I hope this starts your week off on a positive note. Enjoy!

Megan: Hi, Mom. I’m so excited. Let’s start off with how you would describe yourself for the readers

Barbara: Besides Megan’s mom? Well, to someone who doesn’t know me, I would describe myself as a mom, daughter and friend.  Some characteristics that describe me would be optimistic, a problem solver and happy … and I’ve often been described as diplomatic.  I think raising you and your brothers honed that skill.

Because we always start the newsletter like this, what are three things you are grateful for today?

The health of my family and friends, the “bonus” time I’m experiencing with my grown kids and my surprise Mother’s Day brunch yesterday. 

What’s been the best thing and hardest thing about quarantine for you?

By far, the best thing has been living “real life” with my kids again. We’re typically all together only on vacation or during the holidays, so it’s just such a bonus. This “time without a time limit” with you and your brothers has been hands-down the best thing.

The most challenging part is the uncertainty of the timeline and knowing that so many people are hurting. I’m a problem solver by nature, but I have no idea how to solve this… and that’s tough to sit with.  

What advice would you have for moms of young kids going through quarantine right now?

Headline: the kids are going to be alright. Don’t make it harder on yourself… nobody is getting extra credit points for making it harder on themselves.  And – find the moments of fun in it – they are going to remember making tents in the living room so much more than the fact that they had to be quiet during conference calls!

Is there a quote that’s helping you right now? 

One of my favorites right now is: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, but about learning to dance in the rain.”  (There’s a lot of fun to be had dancing in the rain)

When you find yourself in a funk or a bad mood, what’s your best tip for snapping out of it? 

Two things: perspective and context. I’ll force perspective by physically stepping away from what I’m doing to give myself space for context. 

I’ll go for a walk, make a cup of coffee or just do something that takes me out of the immediate. To force context, I’ll think “how will I look at this specific situation an hour from now, a week from now and a year from now?” When I look at the situation in context, it’s usually a lot smaller than I thought. 

Going off the greatness that is Martina McBribe’s This One’s For the Girls lyrics, what is the advice you wish you could give back and tell yourself at certain times in your life? 

Ha! Okay, well without giving away too much about my age, here’s what I wish I could back and tell myself in my:

• 20s: Don’t rush. Be selfish! Take the experiences as they come and don’t feel like you have to do anything by a certain age. 
• 30s: Child-raising years for me. The phrase “the days are long, but years are short” just ran through my head. But what I wish I could tell myself – or anyone raising little kids – is to think about what you want your kids to remember. Go all-in on those things and don’t waste your energy on other things. Let it go. 
• 40s: Take some time to ask yourself “what do I want to be/who do I want to be when I grow up?” again. What you decided in your 20s may or may not be relevant, but what I know now is that you still have a lot of you left in you. 
• 50s: So far, 50s have been fun! I would say take a pause and focus on your friendships. A lot of people move from a circle of kid-dependent friends to making new friends again, who will know you as you (vs. someone’s mom). If you’re lucky enough to have lifelong friendships, it’s amazing to have a little time to reinvest in those. For me, it’s almost been this “teenage experience”… without the drama. You are shedding responsibilities and you have more freedom… like I said, it’s been fun!  

I know we both have ambitious reading goals for this year. What are the top three books you’ve read this year?

City of Girls, Becoming and American Dirt (not an easy read, but a necessary read). 

What’s a resource (book, podcast, TV show) you would recommend for the readers?

Besides Megan’s Monday Motivation? 🙂  Three resources I’ve been loving right now are Word on Fire, anything Jen Hatmaker and finding new business-related podcasts (like Omni Talk). 

What’s saving your life right now? What’s helping you reach for joy?  

Three things: connecting with friends and family in new and unexpected ways (I am LOVING my weekly Zooms with my group of best friends and extended family), family mealtimes and exercise. 

And because yesterday was Mother’s Day, what’s your favorite thing about your mom? 

My mom is an amazing mom; she taught me optimism and truly made me believe that I could do anything.  As great as she is as a mom, I’m convinced she was put on this Earth to be a grandma.  My greatest joy is seeing the love between my kids and her – and I’m so grateful that she is such a part of their best memories.

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