Monday, 9/27/21: Talking about staying in touch with friends who live far away
Happy Monday!
It’s a new week, which means it’s time for your next Monday motivation newsletter. Read on below for some steps to a happier Monday, a short story and a roundup of positive thoughts to get your week started.
Three Steps to a Happier Monday
Each newsletter starts with three prompts to inspire gratitude and simple intention setting. Take a moment and jot down answers to these three questions. To give an example, I share my answers below.
Step 1: What are three things I appreciated from the weekend?
Step 2: What is one thing I can be excited about today?
Step 3: What is my intention for this week?
GRATITUDE: From my weekend, I am thankful for the best time with college friends at UF this weekend, seeing my family and and FINALLY experiencing this newish tribute tradition in person!!
TODAY: I’m off work today as I travel back to Chicago, so I’m most excited to have a day to reset and get organized.
INTENTION: My intention this week is to map out my plans for October. Can’t believe the new month starts Friday!
Okay, your turn! And if you want to share your three steps, I am all ears. 🙂
Meaningful Musings: Lighter & Brighter Series: Long-Distance Friendships
For the past couple weeks, I’ve experimented with taking a break from social media. After reading both Digital Minimalism and Deep Work in August (which advocate for a 30-day “digital detox” to help with time management and focus), I was curious about it and thought September would be a perfect opportunity since I wanted to free up some time as I settled into a new role at work.
Last weekend was the first time I logged into the apps in a few weeks, and I have to be honest, I’m surprised with how little I missed social media. I wouldn’t say I’m anti-social media or thinking about swearing off the apps for good, but my experience is definitely making me think twice about how I want to re-integrate the platforms back into my life.
In my opinion, one of the best parts about social media is how it’s allowed me to stay connected with friends who live far away. After moving from Florida to Chicago, I’ve come to rely on Instagram, Snapchat and the likes to keep me updated on what my friends are up to in their cities of D.C., San Antonio, St. Petersburg and more.
During my month of no social media, I worried about missing out on this connection. But I’m surprised to say that I’m actually walking away from the month feeling closer to some friends and family who live far away. It’s almost like without social media as a given way to stay in touch, I had to be more intentional and active, which in turn led to some deeper engagements.
For example, there was a weekend in September when a couple of my friends were at a wedding. Because I couldn’t watch the Instagram stories to see the shenanigans or outfits, I texted a group chat and asked for pictures. Instead of viewing photos from afar or sending “likes,” we ended up having a wonderful exchange in this group chat and hearing some hilarious, and heartwarming, stories about the wedding. From this little interaction, I gained so much more than passively scrolling on social.
And on another night, I was winding down after work and killing time before bed. I was restless and didn’t feel like watching TV or reading my book. To be completely honest, all I wanted to do was collapse on my couch and escape into my Instagram feed. Without that as an option, I ended up calling my younger brother to catch up and see how the start of his fall semester was going. We had a great, fun conversation and I went to bed that night feeling so filled up.
It’s interesting to think about the flipside of both of these examples, if I hadn’t been off social media. In both instances, I probably would’ve defaulted to more easy accessible, albeit shallow, interactions with friends on social media. Sure, the interactions would’ve made me feel close to friends in the moment, but the feeling also would’ve faded just as fast. One thing is for sure… the interactions certainly wouldn’t have been memorable enough to write about today.
It can be tough to maintain long-distance friendships. Life gets busy, priorities change and sometimes it can feel like too much time has passed. I know I definitely haven’t been the best at always keeping touch with friends who live far away, but inspired by some of the connections I’ve made during my time off social media, I want to apply what I’ve learned and do a better job moving forward.
I’m sure many of you are also trying to keep in touch with friends who live far away, so I thought the topic of “long-distance friendships” could be the perfect next topic for the Lighter & Brighter series. (If you are new around here – welcome! – the L&B series is like a monthly book club discussion… but instead of books we focus on small everyday shifts that makes things easier and more enjoyable. Read past ones here!).
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts. So far, here are the four things I want to start doing, inspired by my month of no social media, to maintain closer relationships with friends who live far away:
- When I see an accomplishment or exciting update, I want to send a text or a message without delay. One of my favorite things about social media is seeing these huge life moments – like graduations, new jobs, engagements, babies and more – that I might not have known about if not for seeing a post. Based on my experience this past month, I want to challenge myself to immediately send a quick message of congratulations in addition to or instead of a “like” or a “comment” on the post. And I want to do it without delay… I don’t want to spend time thinking about the last time I contacted this friend or the right way to say things. I just want to message them right away. I know little gestures like these make a difference over time and will inspire moments of connection with friends, and with people who I’ve fallen out of touch with.
- Speaking of celebrating, I’m going all-in on birthdays. I LOVE birthdays. Whether it’s my birthday or a friend’s birthday, I just love the special annual opportunity to celebrate someone. I want to get better about looking at my calendar in advance, making note of which friends have birthdays coming up and getting a simple plan in place. Sending a card, giving them a call to catch up or having Uber Eats deliver a sweet treat are all such easy things that make room for offline connection.
- Be ready to say yes to the trip. This one is inspired by this past weekend (although I did write about the power of trips with friends in one of my earliest newsletters!) more than my time off social media. I was with a group of friends from college in Gainesville for the UF v. Tennessee football game. We took many walks down memory lane, bought matching shirts at our favorite bar, and laughed a TON. It was just the best. Trips are amazing for long-distance friendships. Beyond just the benefit of connecting, they also provide the opportunity to create heart-warming memories that stay with you long past the weekend. But trips are also an investment. They require time, logistics and money, so they aren’t always the easiest to pull off. I can’t change that, but what I can do is take some proactive steps to make it easier to say “yes” when these opportunities presents themselves. For example, this could include automatically saving money on an ongoing basis, making sure I have some vacation days set aside to use at work, reserving my frequent flyer miles for these trips’ airfares, and being the first to throw out some potential dates to all get us all together.
- Remembering that something small is better than nothing at all. I heard Gretchen Rubin talk once about the phenomenon of how when you’re in touch with a person all the time, you have a lot to say to each other, but when you see a person rarely, you have a hard time coming up with things to say. There’s so much that has happened since the last time you talked that it’s hard to know where to pick up. With this finding, she started sending “boring email updates” with her mom and sister. The emails contained just a line or two about the small details of their lives, with no pressure to respond or share anything exciting. The result, according to Rubin, is that it’s “astonishing” how much closer she feels to her mom and sister with these minor, but regular, updates. I love this idea. I love the reminder that it doesn’t need to be anything big or over the top. How many times have I not reached out to someone because I didn’t have time for a long phone call them or didn’t know what to say first? Something small would’ve been better than nothing at all!
What do you think? What would you add to the list? Can’t wait to share your thoughts and tips (you can submit anonymously here) in the newsletter at the end of next month.
On My Monday Radar
Sometimes we just aren’t ready to jump into our Monday to-do list right away. In case you want some content to procrastinate with, here is a roundup of a few positive things on my radar:
- Two books I’ve read recently and enjoyed: It Ends With Us and We’re The Brennans. You’ve probably heard of It Ends With Us – I feel like it is everywhere! It was gifted to me from a friend with a high recommendation, and it did not disappoint. The beginning was a bit slow, but especially by Part 2, I was hooked and squeezing in time before work to read it! And then, I just loved We’re the Brennans, which is about an Irish Catholic family in New York. It was a recent Book of the Month pick for me, and while some parts of it (& some characters!) were really hard to read, overall, I got hooked so quickly and finished it in a week! Both good books to get lost in, but now I’m looking for something lighter to read 🙂
- It’s so exciting to see Broadway make a return! I can’t believe Hamilton, The Lion King, Wicked and Chicago are all playing in NYC theaters right now. I am DYING to go to any one of these shows. Crossing my fingers that Broadway in Chicago follows suit!
- I didn’t pack my ice roller for my quick trip to Florida and I missed it so much! I’m not sure if I notice any extreme differences when I remember to ice roll in the morning vs. when I don’t, but I’ve come to just love the experience and ritual of doing it when I wake up. Can’t wait to reunite with mine today!
- What are your tips for long-distance friendships? All month I’ll be collecting anonymous tips and tricks for staying close with friends who live far away, to be shared in the newsletter on the last Monday in October. If you are so inclined to share, feel free to submit anonymously here. Can’t wait to hear from you!
That’s all for today! I hope you found something in today’s newsletter that sparked motivation, made you smile or inspired a positive Monday thought. Don’t underestimate the power of starting small… a fulfilling week starts with just one fulfilling day. You’ve got this!
Let’s make it a great Monday!
Megan
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