Monday, 6/1/20: Talking about a new focus, new resources and new teachers

Happy Monday!

It felt strange to type the words “Happy Monday” today. Because the world is not happy right now. It’s heavy with challenges and dark times.

If you are hurting today, I want you to know that I see you and I stand with you. I’m sorry for your pain. I feel heartbroken – but at the same time – I also acknowledge that I can’t even begin to understand what others are going through.

I’m glad we can still start our week together today and I hope something in the below resonates with you. But above all, I want to learn. So if you have feedback, challenges or questions after reading the below, I hope you share with me. 

Three Steps to a Happier Monday

Each newsletter starts with three prompts to inspire gratitude and simple intention setting. Take a moment and jot down answers to these three questions. To give an example, I share my answers below.  

Step 1: What are three things I appreciated from the weekend? 

Step 2: What is one thing I can be excited about today?

Step 3: What is my intention for this week? 

GRATITUDE: From my weekend, I am thankful for the great role models I have in my life, time with mom this weekend and starting the Little Fires Everywhere series.

TODAY: I am most excited about it being the first day of a new month. I always geek out a little bit when the first day of the month coincides with the first day of the week. 

INTENTION: My intention this week is to take the great resources available right now and figure out my action items for what I’m personally going to do in light of recent events.

Okay, your turn! And if you want to share your three steps, I am all ears. 🙂

Lesson of the Week: Where’s My Focus?

This past week was heavy and filled with horrific events deeply impacting the black community. As mentioned above and below, I feel heartbroken, but also acknowledge that I can’t even begin to understand what others are feeling.

I know I have a long way to go with a lot of listening and learning ahead of me, but today, I want to humbly share one thing I’ve personally reflected on while processing what has happened.

I hope something in the below resonates with you. Above all, I want to listen and learn. I am always all ears for your feedback, challenges and ideas.

In college, I was involved with an organization that put on a leadership workshop for high school students. Students from across the state of Florida would travel to our school’s campus and participate in a variety of activities for a weekend. Each year, the weekend was absolutely magical. We built community, talked about leadership tools, expanded our perspectives and had a lot of fun.

But there’s one memory in particular that I’ve thought of more than once in recent weeks. It was an exercise done on the first night of the conference called “The Privilege Walk.” 

For the exercise, we would all line up in the middle of an empty ballroom with a “finish line” designated on the other end of the room. We were told our goal was to make it to that finish line. We closed our eyes and the facilitator began reading prompts. Depending on your answer, you would take a step forward, backward or stay still.  

I stepped forward for many things and I took step backs for a very small handful of things. There were also many prompts that didn’t apply to me. I didn’t take a step back when asked if I had worked a part-time job that morning or if I sometimes went to bed hungry. I didn’t take a step back when asked if I had ever been stopped by the police just because they thought I was suspicious.

The exercise ended with us opening our eyes and racing to the finish line. Although we had all started in the same place, we were now scattered and had runs requiring different amounts of effort. Some could reach the line with an easy jog and others had to sprint. 

This week I’ve felt heartbroken over the horrific things that have happened to the black community. And I know I can’t even begin to understand what others are going through. But what I can do is look at my own actions… or lack thereof.  

Once I was willing to take off my defensive and my shame armor and be real with myself, I realized something. I realized that my focus has been off. 

I’ve been focused on the distance between me and that finish line. And with that as my focus, all I see is the distance left for me to run and the people in front of me. With that as my focus, I’ve missed out on opportunities to take my eyes off the finish line, look over my shoulder and extend a hand.

Many of us have been pushed so close to the finish line or have had so many hands extended to us that we don’t even realize there’s a room full of people behind us. 

Author Austin Channing Brown writes the following quote in her book I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness (a book I am looking forward to reading):

“When you believe niceness disproves the presence of racism, it’s easy to start believing bigotry is rare, and that the label racist should be applied only to mean-spirited, intentional acts of discrimination. The problem with this framework—besides being a gross misunderstanding of how racism operates in systems and structures enabled by nice people—is that it obligates me to be nice in return, rather than truthful. I am expected to come closer to the racists. Be nicer to them. Coddle them.” 

This quote really made me take a second look at my actions. Sure, I’ve shifted my focus off the finish line and looked over my shoulder before. Or, I’ve looked over my shoulder and been nice. But it’s not enough. I need to look over my shoulder, listen & learn and extend a hand. 

Thomas Aquinas said it simply: “to love is to will the good of others.“

To love our neighbor is not to hope for the good of others. It’s not to wish for the good of others. Instead it’s to will – to take action for – the good of others.

It starts with us shifting the focus from our own path to others. It starts with us focusing on listening and learning from others and expanding our perspectives. It starts with the thoughts we cultivate, how we talk and the media we consume.

It starts with us taking our eyes off our own lane, looking over a shoulder and extending a hand from a place of love for our neighbor. 

If you still feel at a loss as to where to start, I encourage you to look to activist and artist Cleo Wade’s beautiful painting, aptly named “Where to Begin.” It reads: 

“The world will say to you: we need to end racism.

Start by healing it in your own family.

The world will say to you: how do we speak to bias and bigotry? 

Start by having the first conversation at your own kitchen table.

The world will say to you: there is too much hate.

Devote yourself to love. Love yourself so much that you can love others without barriers and without judgment.” 

– Cleo Wade 

Sadly, the painting is currently sold out. But 100% of the proceeds were going to The Antiracist Research & Policy Center, an organization that is always accepting donations (you just email the Director of Engagement)… in case her words resonated with you. 

“Devote yourself to love.” How powerful could that be, right? 

Friends, it starts with us. Let’s shift our focus from traveling our own paths to willing the good of others.

On My Monday Radar

Today’s on the radar section includes a roundup of great resources, wisdom and new perspectives from teachers much greater than myself. I’m excited to explore each one more and if you’ve found a great resource recently, I hope you will share with me.   

• I am looking forward to watching this series. According to its website, The Next Question is a video web series, executive produced by Austin Channing Brown (quoted above) and co-hosted by Chi Chi Okwu and Jenny Booth Potter. The show engages visionaries, leaders, and artists in the substantive questions of racial justice. I am excited to stream the eight episodes from season one, be introduced to new voices and learn. 
• This is a great list of resources. Thinking about the mediums I consume the most (social media feeds, podcasts and books), I know I could do a better job of intentionally seeking out different perspectives and points of view to add to my rotation. I look forward to doing so by making my way through this list. 
• Loved these Little Fires Everywhere Interviews. Last week on her podcast, Brene Brown released two episodes about the Little Fires Everywhere mini-series, which is based on the book by Celeste Ng. The first episode is an interview with Author Celeste Ng and the second is an interview with Kerry Washington and Reese Witherspoon, who both portray main characters on the show. The episodes were recorded before recent events, but nevertheless, the discussions felt relevant and rich with wisdom. 

That’s all for today! I hope you found something in today’s newsletter that sparked motivation, made you smile or inspired a positive Monday thought. Don’t underestimate the power of starting small… a fulfilling week starts with just one fulfilling day. You’ve got this! 

Let’s make it a great Monday!
Megan

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