Monday, 2/7/22: Talking about connecting with someone from the past and a time management technique

Happy Monday!

It’s a new week, which means it’s time for your next Monday motivation newsletter. Read on below for some steps to a happier Monday, a short story and a roundup of positive thoughts to get your week started.

Three Steps to a Happier Monday

Each newsletter starts with three prompts to inspire gratitude and simple intention setting. Take a moment and jot down answers to these three questions. To give an example, I share my answers below.  

Step 1: What are three things I appreciated from the weekend? 

Step 2: What is one thing I can be excited about today?

Step 3: What is my intention for this week? 

GRATITUDE: From my weekend, I am thankful for a fun Friday trying a new restaurant, time connecting with friends Saturday and for my walk outside on Sunday.   

TODAY: I was feeling ‘off’ yesterday, so today I’m just excited that it is a new day, fresh start, new week.

INTENTION: Busy week this week! My intention this week is to write my to-do list in advance of the next day to keep myself organized.

Okay, your turn! And if you want to share your three steps, I am all ears. 🙂

Meaningful Musings: Connecting with Someone From the Past 

Recently, I met up with a friend from college to grab dinner and catch up. The friend and I both live in Chicago and are originally from Florida, but I’m embarrassed to admit this was the first time we’ve seen each other in Chicago, despite us both living in the city for a couple of years (!) now. 

Life happens, right? Being different ages, having different paths post-college and, of course, the pandemic turning everything upside down all seemed to get in the way and delay a reunion. The more time passed, the more embarrassment I felt about not reaching out, so I continued to not reach out (real logical.. I know).

But then in December, she reached about a show she was watching that was connected to a memory between us, and we seized the opportunity to acknowledge the fact that it was crazy we hadn’t seen each other yet and made a plan to get together.  

I’m so glad we did.

The whole ride home from dinner, I had a permanent smile on my face. I was so happy. Dinner had been so fun! I wanted to bottle up this feeling, so as I got ready for bed, I tried to pin down just why it felt so good to catch up.

Was it the feeling of connection? There’s an intimacy and underlying level of trust in longstanding friendships – especially those formed during such a formative time like college – that’s hard to re-create. Even though we had to catch each other up on years of updates, it was so comforting to have someone ask about my brothers – mentioning them both by name – or casually reference something on the menu that they thought I would love.

Maybe it was the reminiscing about shared memories from college. Research does show that nostalgia serves to increase feelings of social connectedness. In one study, when participants were tasked with writing about a nostalgic event, they felt more loved and protected than participants who wrote about autobiographical events that did not elicit feelings of nostalgia. And the reminiscing had also made me feel more like, well, me. As this article suggests, nostalgia strengthens personal identity as is it facilitates continuity between past and present selves. It was a cool experience to “re-introduce” myself to someone I knew six years ago in college, subsequently reminding myself of who I’ve always been and also how I’ve grown and changed over the past couple years.

Whatever the reason might be for why it felt so great to reconnect, above all, I’m glad I finally stopped letting the feelings of embarrassment or shame stand in the way of reaching out. 

There’s a scene in the book The Dutch House (which, by the way, I finished last week. 5/5 stars. I already miss listening to it!!) where one of the main characters gets lunch with someone from their past. An unfortunate situation and almost three decades have elapsed since the two saw each other, and after the time together, the main character thinks about how it was not only remarkable to see this person again, but how they felt “a complete absence” of the anger they expected to feel. They were instead so comforted by the connection to someone special from their past. 

Of course, not every situation or friendship is as simple as “life got in the way” for the reason of falling out of touch, but the passage reminded me of how we sometimes build things up in our head. We think the other person might not want to hear from us or we worry about our past shortcomings. We let perfect be the enemy of the good. But I’m hoping by writing this I’ll be more likely to remind myself in the future to reach out without delay when I think of someone or see something that reminds me of something, sprinkling in more moments of connection to my days.

So, if you are looking for a Monday pick-me-up today, consider reconnecting with someone from your past. In actuality, it can be quite simple: a quick note sent that acknowledges the fact you haven’t talked in a while but were thinking of them. Not only will you likely make their day, but the time you spend reminiscing about a comforting, fun memory with this person will brighten your Monday too. 🙂

On My Monday Radar

Sometimes we just aren’t ready to jump into our Monday to-do list right away. In case you want some content to procrastinate with, here is a roundup of a few positive things on my radar:  

• One of my favorite newsletters was when I crowdsourced tips from you on maintaining long-distance friendships. So many great tips in this one! Based on the number of suggestions sent in, I also found it so reassuring to know there are others who want to maintain friendships but struggle with life getting in the way. If you feel like that, trust me you are not the only one! And, check out the list because maybe one of these tips will resonate with you.  
• After a cold, snowy week last week, “hygge” is definitely on my mind, so I loved this long list of ways to bring it into the home. I wrote about the concept of hygge recently, and after trying it out these past couple of weeks, I have to admit that doing little things to make things cozier goes a long way in making winter bearable. And with this list, I now have some more ideas of things to do. On a related note, I also this article about a mindset shift around winter. Mindset is everything!
• Something that is definitely “hygge?” This fleece. It’s soft and warm, while still being lightweight. I have it in two colors and it is my go-to working from home outfit right now.
• Speaking of work, a co-worker told me about the ‘Pomodoro Technique’ for time management, and it seriously helped with my concentration last week. I was hitting a wall toward the end of last week, which was a problem since I still had many deliverables to get through. Using this new-to-me method of working for 25 minutes, followed by a 5-minute break, was just what I needed to get refocused and productive. Have you ever tried it?

That’s all for today! I hope you found something in today’s newsletter that sparked motivation, made you smile or inspired a positive Monday thought. Don’t underestimate the power of starting small… a fulfilling week starts with just one fulfilling day. You’ve got this! 

Let’s make it a great Monday!
Megan