Flipping the Script on a Negative Thought Loop
This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 4/6/20.
“I’m frustrated because I feel like my life is on hold.”
Anyone else have a negative thought loop stuck in their head right now?
The above is mine. And to be completely honest with you, I went back and forth on if I wanted to share it in today’s newsletter.
My hesitation was rooted in the fact that this concern is obviously quite minuscule in comparison to what others are dealing with.
But on the other hand, I keep thinking what if one of you is experiencing something similar? Or, even if your negative thought loop is different,maybe hearing how I’m working through mine can help you with yours.
We are on an emotional roller coaster right now. If you are like me, some days are good, and some days are bad. Or more realistically, some hours of the day are good, and some hours of the day are bad.
And while I definitely experience those sad, anxious and frustrated feelings from time to time, I am also intentionally doing the following three things to ensure good days (or hours) still happen among the bad ones:
- Looking for moments of joy amidst times of sadness
- Expressing gratitude for what I do have to distract myself from negative thoughts
- Seeking out inspiring content to consume
One the main sources of inspiring content for me right now is Rachel Hollis’ “Next 90 Days” challenge (mentioned in last week’s newsletter). Not only am I loving how it holds me accountable to maintain healthy habits, but signing up also provides access to a plethora of free resources. This week, it was a 40-minute video of Rachel talking about perspective. I watched it one day after work and it was such a welcomed respite from consuming news or mindlessly scrolling social media. I resonated with a lot of what Rachel taught and if you are interested in hearing more straight from the source, all you have to do is sign up here.
So while I can absolutely not take credit for the content shared in the video, what I am excited to share today is my own application of the teaching.
Specifically, here’s two things I did because of watching the video that forced my perspective to change in regards to my negative thought loop:
First, I took a step back and acknowledged how blessed I am. A moment of gratitude is not always easy and it might not be what you want to do in the moment, but it is really one of the easiest ways to force your perspective. No matter your circumstances, I am willing to bet there is someone out there who would love to be in your position. As soon as I started thinking about the blessings I do have, my negative thought loop started to unravel a bit.
But the real magic happened in the second step…
Next, I flipped the script.Yes, my life is “on hold.” Yes, there were a lot of things I wanted to do, places I wanted to travel, people I wanted to be with and experiences I thought I would have. My feelings are valid and I am upset that this is happening to me.
But what if I changed the narrative? What if instead I thought about life being on hold as something that isn’t happening to me, but instead happening for me?
Flipping the script doesn’t suddenly make everything OK. But it does move you from lamenting about your situation to allowing you to find meaning in the mess.
- I miss the people I typically see in my daily life, but I am getting to connect in new ways with those who I don’t normally speak to on a daily or weekly basis.
- I miss restaurants and errands and going out with friends, but I am enjoying testing out new recipes, getting the same amount of sleep every night and slow, lazy mornings.
- I’m sad about the trips that have been canceled, but I look back on past trips with new appreciation and am finding ways to put the money I would have spent to other meaningful uses.
- I mourn the “what ifs” and the opportunities I could be experiencing in my personal and professional life, but I am using this time to work on myself, ensuring the best version of me is ready for whatever may come up tomorrow or a few months from now.
So yes, my life is on hold. But my life being on hold is also providing me the opportunity to rest, reset and be introspective about who I want to be after all of this. I’m choosing to see my life being on hold as something that is happening for me, not to me.
What do you think? Do you think flipping the script on your own negative thought loop could help force your perspective?
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