Attitude of Gratitude in 2023
This essay initially appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 11/13/23.
The month of November is synonymous with giving thanks and gratitude.
“Gratitude lists” are a fairly mainstream idea – and for good reason – expressing what you’re thankful for is a powerful tool for reminding you of the good and encouraging you to look for what’s going right, even when things are though.
Recently, I came across a new-to-me approach for a gratitude list, which I’m really excited to share this morning. The idea comes from the book I’m reading right now: Build the Life You Want by Arthur Brooks (Harvard Business School Professor and columnist for The Atlantic) and Oprah Winfrey.
In a chapter focused on gratitude, here is the exercise recommended:
From Build the Life You Want, pg. 57:
- “On Sunday night, take thirty minutes and write down the five things in your life for which you are authentically grateful for. It’s all right if they seem trivial or silly. Almost everyone else has ridiculous things on their gratitude lists, too. Make sure one or two, though, involve people you love.
- Each evening during the week, take out your list and study it for five minutes, one minute for each item. Do it also in the morning if you have time.
- Update your list each Sunday by adding one or two items.”
I tried this exercise last week, and while I made a few adjustments (for example, I wasn’t as stringent with timing as prescribed above… though I did try to move slowly and reflectively), what really made it impactful for me was the second step. I’ve made gratitude lists before. But going back to look at and study my list daily? That was something new to me and I loved it.
I kept my gratitude list next to my bed to look at before bed. On my list I had things like living in Lincoln Park during the fall; something specific about my relationship with Matt; finding communities at places near me such as St. Teresa’s, CorePower, Barry’s; working on projects with a certain co-worker who makes everything more enjoyable/easier; texts from my mom and dad.
When I re-read these things at the end of the day, they served as wonderful reminders that helped to change my perspective.
For example, if I was going to bed stressed about something work-related, when I read my list and reflected on the co-worker, I was thankful for, things felt more manageable (“it’s not all bad!”). Or, when I wasn’t looking forward to getting up early for a workout class the next morning, I read my list and reminded myself of how much I enjoyed feeling a sense of community, increasing my motivation to set the alarm early.
It was a really nice way to unwind. While expressing gratitude magically fix everything or erase the hard stuff, it does helps remind us of the good that is happening and raises our emotions.
This exercise also made my gratitude list feel like it had more “staying power.” Often times, I’ll jot down things I’m grateful for and express thanks in that moment – but then turn the page and be onto the next thing. I don’t often reflect back.
But by looking back on what we’re grateful for regularly to remember, we’re not only giving thanks all over again, but we’re also training our minds to do it automatically in difficult moments.
I’ve already made another list for this week and can’t wait to reflect back on it each night.
What do you think? If you are looking for a boost this Monday, maybe give this exercise a try. Write down a quick list of things you’re grateful for and then glance back at the list throughout the rest of this week.
I hope you find it as helpful as I did 
have a great week!