Wisdom from Dwyane Wade on “finding moments”

This post originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 1/10/22.

Last week, I was listening to this podcast episode when I heard something that really resonated with me.
 
The podcast featured an interview with basketball superstar Dwyane Wade, whom I don’t know much about… aside from loving his wife (Gabrielle Union – seriously, her book is so good).
 
My favorite part of the conversation was when Dax Shepard, the host, asked something along the lines of how Dwyane is able to possibly reconcile the amazing experiences he’s had – like playing basketball at the White House with President Obama… to being mentored by Shaquille O’Neal … to making the list of greatest 75 players in NBA history – and stay somewhat down-to-earth? How is he not completely distraught when experiences like that are over?  
 
I loved Dwyane’s answer. I’m paraphrasing a bit below, but right around minute 47, he responded:
 

“Life’s all about finding moments.” 
 
“…You get to a point where once you play basketball you think you’ll last forever, and you realize it doesn’t… You know all you have now is your stories. All I have now to tell my son and my daughters are moments that I had.” 
 
“…And so, for me, I just live my life to capture as many moments as possible because as I get older, that’s all I’m going to pull it back from. One day when I’m sitting out there and I don’t got any work to do and my kids are grown and my grandkids – hopefully – are around, I’m just going to sit back and think about all these moments.” 

 
Time – and our perception of time – fascinates me. Sometimes it keeps me up at night, thinking about time passing by. How can a day feel so long, but a month come and go quickly?
 
I used to get so sad when something – anything – would end, (okay, I still get sad, but the dramatics are NOT as bad as they once were), which is why my ears perked up when Dax asked that question. If I putter over something nominal ending, how does one deal with the “after” post-something so monumental?
 
Dwyane’s answer reminded me of a quote I read once. Alan Burdick wrote in his book Why Time Flies, “Very often when we remark, ‘How did time fly by so quickly?’ what’s actually meant is some version of ‘I don’t remember where the time went.’”
 
Is it more time we yearn for or more memories? All those times I’ve spent energy wishing time would slow down to delay an ending, have I inadvertently missed out on an opportunity to make a memory?
 
It’s something I’m thinking about this week. We can’t stop the passage of time… and that’s not always a bad thing. In fact, one of my favorite tricks – heard here first – for when I’m stressed about something (usually work-related), is to ask myself, “Will this matter in 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years from now?” It almost always makes me feel better.
 
But for the things we do want to savor and slow down, maybe Dwyane is on to something. I’m committing to expensing less energy on being sad about something ending and instead shifting my perception to thinking about the moment I’m capturing. (Of course, I still expect to be a little sad when something wraps… we’re aiming for progress here, not perfection).
 
And I know that Dwyane’s answer was in reference to those highlight-reel-worthy moments, but the more I thought about it, I realized his answer could be applied to just an ordinary Monday, like today.
 
We can’t make more time. But asking ourselves “What moment am I finding today?” or, like this article says, “Why is today different from other days?” can make time feel more abundant. It nudges today out of a general feeling of “sameness” and makes our time spent more memorable.
 
Even if it is something small, answering that question means you’ll be more likely to remember today. And having more memories = feeling like you have more time.

Annie Dillard wrote, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” (I love that quote). So, how will you spend your Monday? What moment will you find today?

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