Ending the Year with a !
This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 10/18/21.
Tell me, has something like the following ever happened to you?
You’re watching a football game (or insert favorite sporting event here) and your team is playing well. It’s a close game, but you’re enjoying yourself and having a good time. Andddd then something goes wrong in the final seconds of the game that results in the other team winning. You are crushed! All those good feelings instantly evaporate.
Or, what about the flipside of this? You’re watching the same game, but it’s a completely different experience. You watch mistake after mistake, and you are just having a horrible time. But then, in the final minutes, there’s a mind-blowing, game-winning catch that results in your team winning by just a few points. AMAZING! (Sadly, this is not the experience I had while watching the UF game Saturday)
What I think is interesting is that in both scenarios, how you feel at the end of the game is what stays with you. Despite your feelings of enjoyment or angst during the majority of the game-watching experience, the intense feeling of the ending is what you recall when you reflect back on the experience.
I read about this phenomenon recently. It’s called “peak-end theory” or “peak-end effect.” According to this website, the phenomenon emphasizes the fact that our brains cannot remember details of every experience we face. So, we automatically make cognitive shortcuts by focusing our memories on 1) the most intense aspects of an experience and 2) what the ending is like.
As soon as I read this, I could instantly think of multiple examples where this rings true… from what I remember from big life chapters (like college) to what I recall when I reflect on trips or vacations to even what I remember about last weekend (this is one of the reasons I love asking myself the gratitude question from the above question on Mondays – helps me remember the little things too!).
It doesn’t mean that what happens at the end of something or in an intense moment matters more than a normal, ordinary moment that falls in the middle of the experience… but we’re human. Those intense moments and endings are what we are going to more easily remember.
And I think knowing that we’re more likely to remember the peaks of things is powerful. With this finding, we can see that a small win or improvement near the end of an experience can radically shift one’s perception of the experience altogether.
As we approach the end of the year (a big “end of experience” for all of us!), I’ve decided I want to put this theory to work and seek out one small win that will help me feel like I’m ending the year on a high note. I’m calling it my “2021 exclamation point!” Want to join me in doing so?
As I’ve thought about this exclamation point experiment, I’ve come up with a few simple guardrails to ensure I’m not overcomplicating the idea or getting too ahead of myself (after all, one of my personal mantras is that with structure, I find freedom):
- My exclamation point will be one activity with an end date, not a new ongoing habit or routine I want to start (i.e. run a 5k on Thanksgiving, not start running 3 days a week).
- My exclamation point will be something that’s just for me. It will be something I’m excited about or a feeling I want to have, not something I have to do. (i.e. running said 5k on Thanksgiving to feel strong and proud of myself)
- My exclamation point can involve others, or it can be something I do solo.
- Similarly, it can be something professionally focused, or it can be more on the personal side. But again, it can’t be an obligation or something I have to do.
Of course, if you decide you want to participate in this experiment and pick a 2021 exclamation point too, don’t feel like you have to follow anything from the above – do whatever works best for you!
I don’t know what I’m going to designate as my exclamation point just yet, but a few things I’m thinking about involve running some kind of race, making memories with friends on a trip, or taking the time to identify my professional goals for 2022 (again, structure is my freedom… ). What I love about all these potential options is that they are things that I know would make me feel good, resulting in my goal of one small win or improvement before end of year. I’m excited!
So what do you think? What would you choose as your 2021 exclamation point?
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