Do You Have a Hobby That Brings You Happiness?
This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 4/27/20.
When I think back on my senior year of college, I remember a lot of happy memories juxtaposed with a lot of time worrying about what was next.
“Just find a job. Just find a job and everything else will fall into place.” I would repeat to myself as I applied, waited, interviewed, waited, completed writing exams and waited some more.
And then – finally – the day before graduation, I received a call from a number with a 312 area code.
The call revealed two big dreams would be coming true at once: a three-month internship in Chicago. I would be living in a big city and working at a large PR firm!
From there, it was like someone pressed the fast-forward button on a remote. Things happened FAST.
I found a tiny studio apartment (lovingly referred to as my “glorified dorm room”) that fit within my budget. My dad and I set out on a two-day road trip to move everything up to the Windy City. And I settled into the responsibilities of my internship. Things certainly were falling into place!
So, you can imagine my confusion when I found myself sitting alone in the tiny studio apartment one Friday night thinking to myself, “hmm, what exactly am I supposed to do with the next 48 hours?”
I had the budget, the living arrangements and the details of the internship. I had planned, prepped and wrapped up my entire identity into what I was doing Mondays-Fridays, 8:30 a.m – 5:30 p.m.
But I hadn’t given much thought to the time before and after workdays and the two days in between. I hadn’t thought of this simply because I never had to before.
In the past, free time was filled with clubs and organizations I was passionate about; studying, homework and part-time jobs; and socializing or hanging out with friends.
In the absence of these things, I realized something about myself. I didn’t have any hobbies.
Why am I writing about this today?
Although I came to the realization of no hobbies quickly, it took me a while to figure out how to find a hobby. So, a lot of this is what I wish I could have told myself four years ago.
Secondly – and in my opinion more importantly – I realized that the times in the past when I’ve wished for a hobby correlate directly with a time of change, and especially changes involving an external circumstance that was part of my identity/brought me joy (i.e. moving away from friends and family, an internship ending, going through a break-up or a close friend moving away).
We are living in a time right now when so many of our external circumstances have changed. Maybe a big part of your identity and/or happiness was tied to going into an office or being in a classroom or seeing your friends. Maybe you feel like part of you is missing. Maybe you’ve even had your own version of that Friday night I described earlier where you are a bit anxious with how you will fill your time. I’m not saying finding a new hobby is the answer. Unfortunately, a hobby is not going to replace those external circumstances we miss so much. But a hobby can be something we count on for happiness, joy and relaxation.
By definition, a hobby is an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure. And as one avid birdwatcher remarks in this article, “what makes a hobby so exciting is you get to have this default thing that makes you happy. When all else fails I can run to the park and see a cardinal taking a bath.”
This is what I wish I could go back and tell myself on that Friday night. While it’s right to make the job a priority, I would caution myself against “putting all my eggs in one basket” and tying my identity/happiness too closely to one thing. Instead, just like I am encouraging you this morning, I would urge myself to try out a variety of new activities and see which ones spark joy.
Maybe fun, feel-good hobbies like reading, crafting, cooking, podcasting, etc. are exactly what we need right now. We know they aren’t going to solve our problems, but they aren’t going to hurt either.
So, how do I find a hobby?
Well, after some trial and error, here are the top three things that have personally helped me to discover hobbies I enjoy:
- Think about what you did for fun when you were younger. Love this question. What did you used to? Was it something like painting, playing an instrument, dancing or singing in a choir? An easy example for this question is someone who enjoyed team sports. If you identify with that, think about what you loved about it. Was the team aspect? The actual sport? Answers to all these questions can be clues guiding the way to your hobby.
- Think about what you tie your identity to right now. Because I identify as a communicator and a problem solver by trade, I try to seek out activities or organizations with tasks suited for these strengths. Maybe you see yourself as an educator, a speaker, a researcher or something else. Take a moment and think about it.
- If you don’t think you are a “creative person,” read this book. Tapping into your creativity can be a really easy way to find hobbies. And if you don’t think you are creative, I would encourage you to read the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. It’s a quick read and poses a lot of interesting thoughts on creativity. Do you ever experience a thought that fires you up and gets stuck in your head? Those type of thoughts could be the perfect opportunity to tap into your creativity and most definitely find a hobby that brings you joy.
What do you think? Do you have any hobbies that bring you happiness? Or, are you encouraged to try and find some?
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