Getting Out of a Negative Headspace

This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 3/23/20.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling a spectrum of feelings. I go from feeling anxious, sad and scared to reaching for positive thoughts, being thankful for this “break” in routine and wanting to make the most of this time. It’s confusing! 

If you find yourself feeling all the things, please know you aren’t alone. Give yourself some grace and strive to take it one day at a time. Some days are going to feel ok and you will be able to get the workout in and eat the nourishing foods and some days you are going to need to take it slower and treat yourself to some Oreo’s and red wine (me on Saturday).  

But today, I want to talk about when you find yourself in that negative headspace and want to get out of it. 

As I thought about what my advice would be for getting out of a negative headspace, I realized it would be the same whether we were talking about an everyday situation or the unique situation we find ourselves in now.

No matter the circumstances, I believe the fastest way to abandon those negative thoughts and feel a bit better is to take the focus off of you and do something for someone else. 

Look outside yourself and you’ll distract yourself from the negative thoughts. 

How do you do this? Well, given our strange circumstances, there are actually a lot of ways this could manifest. It could be by doing something for people we don’t know, for loved ones or even for our future self. 

Read on below for a few ideas and see if any resonate with you. 

Doing Something For Others

• Paying for services in advance. As someone who can do their job remotely and still count on a consistent paycheck despite these circumstances, I can’t stop thinking about those who aren’t as fortunate. If you’re feeling the same, let’s channel those concerned thoughts into action. Keep your gym memberships active if you are able to, call your hairdresser, nail salon, etc. and see if you can pay for services in advance. These small actions could make all the difference.  
• Spreading the word about your favorite local restaurants. It’s been amazing to see via social media how many people are ordering takeout or delivery in support of local restaurants in business. Keep encouraging people to place orders by providing some positive word of mouth referrals: share your personal favorite restaurants with your friends or in local Facebook groups or write a Yelp review.      
• Giving to organizations you care about. Check in on those organizations that are important to you. They are probably affected in some way by COVID-19 and probably have a fund you could donate to. Maybe you’ll decide to reallocate the money normally reserved for Friday happy hours (that are on hold currently) to making a donation. 
  • Quick plug: If you are looking for an organization to contribute to, let me quickly share one that is very close to my heart: Chicago Scholars. Chicago Scholars is a nonprofit that helps academically ambitious, first generation college students from under-resourced communities apply to college and navigate the transition. Right now, a lot of first generation students are leaving college campuses for the rest of the semester and this also means leaving technology, on-campus jobs, meal plans, etc. To help with this, Chicago Scholars set up a response fund. Read more here about what your donation would help with (and you can donate any amount – not just what’s on the page). 

Doing Something For Your Loved Ones

• Zoom happy hours, book clubs and more! I promise giving your time/energy to others in a quick video chat is a sure-fire way to improve your mood. This has been one of the best things to come from this time and something I hope continues even after this all passes. I saw this firsthand when my mom did a zoom happy hour with her six best friends last week. My mom was SO happy after – practically floating on cloud nine – and she couldn’t believe they had never done it before. I’ve had so much fun doing my own “zoom happy hours” with my extended family, coworkers and friends from high school. My friends from college and I are even going to do a virtual book club!! 
• Calling and texting family and friends. Just like the above, use this time to call all those family members and friends that you always mean to catch up with but never have the time. Go for a walk outside or break up the workday by sending a few people some texts. Showing someone that you thought of them with this simple action will make their day – and yours. 🙂 

Doing Something For Your Future Self 

• Maintaining healthy habits for “future you.” Remember when I talked about how I’m motivated to keep habits because I know it’s easier to continue than start? Eventually this time is going to come to an end and I’ll be back to my normal routine. Knowing this, why would I set myself up to struggle in the future by abandoning all the habits I’ve worked hard to build? I can accept that I can’t follow my typical schedule to a tee, but I can find ways to set “future me” up for success by still moving my body daily, eating healthy, drinking water, etc. My day-to-day looks very different than normal right now, but my daily habits are still consistent. 
• Taking time to dream and life/career map. What a gift it would be to “future you” to take some time to be introspective and dream about some of the goals you have for yourself! 
  • Don’t know where to start with goal setting? Check out these past newsletters: “Wait, What Should My Goal Be?” and a question I absolutely loved/hadn’t thought of: “How Does That Goal Make You Feel?”
  • And, use this time away from the office to think big picture in terms of your career – where do I ultimately see myself ending up and how can I work backward from there? I’ve learned so much from my mom on career mapping and just so happen to be with her all this week… maybe if enough people are interested we can get her to share some wisdom here and/or on my Instagram page 🙂 
• Pick a new habit. Did you make a 20 in 2020 list? If you did, I’m sure there are some things you can check off (that don’t require travel…). And if you didn’t make a list, I couldn’t think of a better time to start one. Heck, you could even just make a list of things you want to accomplish or new hobbies to try during this time at home! What type of accomplishments would benefit “future you”? A great example: my aunt is a teacher and one of her items on her 20 in 2020 list is to take a Google Educator class. With all this time at home, she is instead becoming Google Educator certified, which is a lot more work than a class and will definitely benefit future her!! Loved that!

Want to receive a note like this to your inbox every Monday at 6 AM EST? Sign up here! If you don’t receive the email, please check your spam or junk folder. 

Have feedback, thoughts or a question you want addressed in an upcoming newsletter? Drop an anonymous note to my mailbox here!