The Root of Joy is Gratefulness

This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 12/2/19.

January 2017 was an interesting time.

I was not at the job I’m at now. In fact, I was on month seven of being a post-grad PR intern and yearning so badly for that full-time position.

As someone who grew up in Florida until age 22, I was also simultaneously experiencing my first full-fledged Chicago winter. I was learning that it would be dark outside when I left for work in the morning and when I commuted home. I was learning your mood changes when the sun does not shine for eight days in a row and how much mental strength is required every time you have to bundle up to just simply go outside.  

And lastly, I was also going through a breakup of a special relationship and dealing with the loss, sadness and uncertainty that comes along with all of that.

And while these challenges are certainly not the biggest challenges in the world, I have to admit that it was a lot to handle at once.

It’s easy to reflect back on this time and call out the things that weren’t going my way. But that’s not what this newsletter is about. This newsletter is all about finding our motivation and joy in the midst of whatever is happening around us. Because we’ve all had these “perfect storm” seasons of life, right? And even if we are not in one now, we know that we will be at some time in the future.

And so, what I am excited to tell you about today is the daily practice that shifted my perspective and helped me through January 2017.

Because while there were challenges in January 2017, it was also the first month of my New Year’s resolutions. And one of those new resolutions was to adopt a daily gratitude practice.

I had gotten the idea from following Rachel Hollis. It was really simple. Every night, I was going to write down 10 things I was grateful for. With this plan in my mind and my new notebook purchased from Target, I was excited to absolutely crush this resolution.

But friends, it was so hard. There were nights I would just stare at a blank piece of paper and curse myself for claiming this as a resolution.

However, with my type-A personality with achiever tendencies, there was no way I was quitting and breaking my promise so early (any other type 3 enneagrams out there?).

So, I kept with it and something amazing happened. Knowing that I would need to come up with that list, I went through my day looking for things to be grateful for instead of lamenting about what was going wrong.

Making the bus just in time? Seeing the sun when I ran out for lunch? Going over to Maura’s to watch The Bachelor? A delicious cup of coffee in the morning? All these little things went on the list. Despite what else was happening in my life, I was able to reach for something positive and find 10 things to be grateful for.

I remember hearing Rachel say, “It’s impossible to feel grateful and anxious at the same time. It’s impossible to feel grateful and angry at the same time. It’s impossible to feel grateful and sad at the same time.”

I was skeptical of this at first. But by ending my days reflecting on little things I was grateful for, I found myself regularly relaxed and in a state of joy and appreciation.

And this is why a quote from David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk with a focus on gratitude, resonates with me so much. In my opinion, this quote sums up all of my thoughts best:

“The root of joy is gratefulness…It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”

The impact this simple practice had on me is still with me today. For example, I still keep up with a daily gratitude practice two years later. And even when designing the outline for this newsletter, I knew gratitude had to be at the top of every edition.

I know I’m certainly not the first person to talk about gratitude. But I do hope my personal anecdote encourages you to consider how gratitude could fit into your life. Whether it’s answering the gratitude prompt at the beginning of this newsletter or jotting down 3, 5 or 10 items daily in a journal, I hope you experience the joy that being grateful can provide. 

I can’t think of any better way to close out 2019 than by starting a gratitude practice. Let’s do this!