On Going Back to Work

This essay appeared in the Monday morning newsletter on 2/9/26. Subscribe here! 

Three Steps to a Happier Monday

Before we dive into a new week, let’s pause and ask ourselves some simple questions to reflect on where we’ve been, get excited about something today and set an intention for the week ahead.

GRATITUDE: What are three things I appreciated from the weekend? 

TODAY: What’s one thing I can be excited about today?

INTENTION: What is my intention for this week? 

For me, I’m thankful for recharge time, starting a new TV show with Matt and fun texts with friends. Today, I’m most excited to spend the day with Ben! And my intention for the week is to appreciate little things.

Okay, your turn! And if you want to share, I am all ears. 🙂

Monday Musings: On Going Back to Work

It’s my last full week of maternity leave. I go back to work mid-next week.

As you might imagine, that sentence carries a lot of emotion with it – from excitement and curiosity to sadness and longing.

For as long as I can remember, I pictured myself one day being both a mom and someone who worked outside the house – a “working mom.” I grew up watching my own mom do that, and she was (and still is) one of my biggest role models. As I started to build my career, I realized something else: I really love what I do. For much of the last decade – during years full of open questions about where I would live, who I would marry and when I’d have kids – work was a steady anchor for my identity. 

So, when I got pregnant with Ben, it was easy to imagine myself as a working mom. Toward the end of my pregnancy, I was even a little nervous about maternity leave. What would it feel like to step away from work for this long?

Then, Ben arrived.

Not only did my world flip upside down in an instant – my priorities did too. Suddenly, I could spend hours simply gazing at him, completely content while tasks languished on forgotten to-do lists. I love being the one to meet his needs, spending so much time with him that when he cries, I know what he’s telling me. I can’t imagine not being the one to ooh and ahh over every little baby thing he does all day. I don’t want to lose the close bond we’ve built. One that, up until now, has been sustained by nearly constant contact and connection.

There have been moments over the past four months when I’ve wondered: Am I still me?

And – more surprisingly – Is it… okay… that I feel so fulfilled by this?

This feels like a good moment to pause and acknowledge the soft landing I’ve had into motherhood. Sure, there have been challenges and plenty of tiring moments. But with a supportive partner, supportive parents, a paid leave and a generally easy-going baby, it’s been manageable – and even enjoyable. I know that’s not always the case. 

And even as I grapple with some questions of identity and sadness over this chapter coming to a close, another part of me feels excited to return to work. I do find work fulfilling, and I’m looking forward to using my brain in that way again. I’m also grateful for the “on-ramp” I’ll have into working parenthood: a remote job, and Ben being cared for by Matt – and then, for a few months, by his grandparents – before we start daycare in the summer.

I think the deeper question I’m sitting with now is this: how do I make room for who I’ve become without erasing who I’ve been? How do I hold both motherhood and work without assuming they have to be at odds?

I certainly don’t have this figured out yet (and I suspect this newsletter will be a fascinating one for me to reread in a few years). But I do have a few collected thoughts and ideas that I hope help me stay open as I step into this next chapter.

There are three in particular resonating with me right now.

First: Work and family can enrich each other.

When I find myself circling big life questions, I do what I always do: I turn to books.

In January, I read Work, Parent, Thrive by Yael Schonbrun. It was a dense read, full of thoughtful ideas. One of the core messages she explores is work-family enrichment: the idea that experiences in one role can improve quality of life in the other. Rather than assuming work and parenthood must always be in conflict, she invites readers to notice how each role can buffer the stress of the other while adding meaning to lives.

Reading the book, I realized I’ve felt a version of this before, unexpectedly.

Last year, I was newly pregnant while also in the process of buying our first home. On paper, it sounded like too much. And at times, it was. But in practice, the two experiences also buffered one another. On hard house days, I focused on the excitement of pregnancy. On physically tough pregnancy days, I turned my attention to the house. I couldn’t spiral too deeply in either place.

I don’t expect being a working parent to be easy. But I do like the idea of having more than one place to step into… and to step away from. A hug or a deep belly laugh from Ben will bring some perspective after a hard workday. And on a tough parenting day, work can be a place where I feel capable and competent.

Second: Happiness requires a wide range of experiences and emotions.

Schonbrun also references research suggesting that interruptions can actually make pleasant experiences more enjoyable. In one study, TV viewers said they preferred to avoid advertisements. Yet, in actuality, they rated their overall experience of watching a TV show higher when commercials were included. Even things we love lose their shine with repetition. Breaks – whether commercials during a show or time away from a role – help restore novelty.

I noticed this around the holidays this past year. Usually, I love that stretch of time off. Of course, the holidays were great! But they also felt… oddly ordinary? Some of that can be attributed to life with a newborn, but it surprised me. It makes me think about this year, and how special the time off will feel precisely because it will be a change.

Something I know about myself is that I’m happiest when I have a lot going on. It helps explain why the first year after graduating college felt challenging to me. Without classes, extracurriculars or an effortless social life, work became the main thing I had – and I quickly learned, on its own, it wasn’t enough. Once I started layering in things like a regular volunteering commitment, a social Saturday morning shift at a workout studio and even eventually writing this newsletter (!), things clicked. I realized I thrive when I have multiple plates spinning.

Remembering this gives me confidence that while I’ve never been a working parent before, I have navigated multiple roles – and that, counterintuitively, juggling them often makes me feel happier and more fulfilled.

Third, and probably most important: I don’t need to have this figured out right now.

I’ll do what works until it doesn’t. Then I’ll try something new. This isn’t a one-time decision; it’s an ongoing process. (I’m writing all this mostly as a reminder to myself – it’s much easier said than done!)

As the great Michelle Obama wrote in her book Becoming, “It’s not about getting back on track. It’s a whole new track.”

So, I guess, maybe I’m not really “going back” to work… Because I’m not going back to who I was before I became a mom.

Instead, I’m going forward.

I’m going forward to a life that’s fuller and more complex than before. One the that has new challenges, but also new opportunities. I’m going forward to a new way of working. One where motherhood shapes my work, and where work stretches me in ways that make me a better mom. 

So… ready or not… forward we go!