3 Things To Do When You Feel Like Time Is Passing You By
This essay originally appeared in the Monday morning essay on 12/21/20.
I’m someone who luckily does not have trouble falling asleep. It almost doesn’t matter the time of day, if I turn off the lights and get in bed, I can usually be asleep in a few minutes.
But last Wednesday was a different story. As soon as my head hit the pillow, a flood of anxious thoughts filled my head and ran on a constant loop, causing me to toss and turn and worry for much longer than I want to admit.
The thoughts went something like this…
- Wow, I’ve already been home for a month and I feel like I haven’t made the most of my time here because of work being crazy.
- There’s 15 days left in this year. Am I even any different than this time last year? What have I accomplished?
- There’s only nine days until Christmas and the holiday season will be over before I know it. I haven’t appreciated the season enough!
I eventually fell asleep, but when I woke up Thursday morning and rehashed these thoughts with a clear mind, I realized they were all connected to a familiar fear of mine: the fear of time passing by and me not doing enough.
And while it feels scary to admit this fear or my late-night thoughts out loud, I couldn’t help but think that someone else may be feeling this way too as we approach the end of 2020, a year when so many plans were put on hold. I should caveat and say that I fully recognize that there is nothing inherently magical about January 1 and I’m acutely aware of all the good that happened this year, but I also believe all feelings are valid. And if you are feeling like I did last week, know that you’re not alone. I see you.
As writer Richard Bach once said, “we teach what we need to learn.” I’m by no means an expert, but I did want to share three things that personally helped me last week to process these feelings. If you’re feeling similarly, I hope something in the below resonates with you.
Three Things I Do When I’m Stressed About Time Passing Me By:
- I remind myself of my favorite Irish proverb: “What’s meant for you won’t pass you by.” The sentiment of this old Irish proverb is so comforting to me. Sometimes I need to write it down or wear my bracelet with this phrase or just say it out loud and take a deep breath.
- I think about a time when my younger self was stressed about time passing. How do I know the above proverb is true? Because the following visualization exercise helps me see how it’s already played out in my life. Years ago, I heard the following advice for coping with anxiety. The advice instructed you to think about a time when your younger self was anxious and imagine if you could go back in time and talk to yourself. What would you say to soothe your anxiety? How would you say it? I use this exercise whenever I’m stressed about “the timeline.” I think about other times in my life when I was worried about time passing and me not doing enough (like when I was waiting for college admissions, when I was trying to figure out my post-college plan, etc.). I imagine present-day-me being able to speak to younger-me in these times and I think about how I would tell myself to calm down, to continue working hard and to know that everything is unfolding just as it is supposed to happen. I always feel a bit better and reassured after doing this.
- Focus on memories.Time-management expert Laura Vanderkam often writes about hearing people say they want more time. Laura argues that when we say this, what we really mean is we want more memories. When I’m feeling stressed about time, I try to focus on cultivating memories instead. This does not mean grandiose gestures, but rather, doing things like asking myself in the morning, “how can today be memorable?” and at the end of the day, writing down small, meaningful things that happened. Doing these things forces me out of auto-pilot mode and helps me seize and be present for the time that is in front of me.
What do you think? Will you try one of the tips above or do you have something else that works for you? If you do, I would love to hear about it. 🙂
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