Becoming a mom has made me much more reflective – and made me think about my own childhood far more often.
So, when I heard a question along the lines of the below on a podcast recently, I could not stop thinking about it:
What parts of your childhood do you wish your own kids could experience? And, in reverse, what parts of childhood today do you wish you’d had growing up?
Of course, I’m only 10 and a half months into being a mom, so there’s a lot I don’t know yet. But still, I found the question intriguing – and surprisingly fun – to think about.
What I wish Ben could experience from my childhood
Growing up with less technology everywhere
Technology was certainly part of my childhood, but it wasn’t everywhere or as prevalent as it is today.
My first cell phones were not smartphones. I watched my fair share of TV and movies, but there weren’t endless shows available whenever I wanted them. I don’t remember YouTube filling five spare minutes or an algorithm always ready to serve up the next thing to watch. Even social media didn’t really enter my life until high school, and what existed then looked nothing like it does today.
Technology is such a layered topic because there are plenty of things I love about it (more on that later!), and I think it can be easy to look at the past through rose-colored glasses. But I do think there was a gift in the fact that entertainment and information weren’t endlessly available.
Especially when I think about my own struggles with the prevalence of technology in my life today, I’m grateful there were fewer opportunities for every empty moment to immediately be filled with something. There was more room to be bored and less to compare yourself to.
I can’t recreate a world for Ben where all of this simply doesn’t exist – and I don’t want to. But I do hope we can give him little pieces of what that felt like – to be bored sometimes, to not always know what everyone else is doing and to have plenty of life happen away from a screen.
Summers at my grandma’s house
A hallmark of my childhood was spending summers at my grandma’s house in Sharon, Pennsylvania.
My brothers and I would spend the majority of our summers there with our grandma. It was our version of sleepaway camp, and it was just the best.
Part of what made it so special was being in a small town where we had our own little summer world. We had family friends who felt more like cousins, and we’d all spend our days together.
There’s no way for me to recreate those exact summers for Ben. They belonged to a particular time, place and person.
But I hope he has his own version of them: a place that feels distinctly like childhood, people he can’t picture growing up without and special traditions and routines.
What Ben has that I wish I’d had
One of the things I love about this question is that it’s very easy to romanticize the way things “used to be.”
But the second half forces you to flip that thinking around: What does Ben get to experience growing up that I wish I’d had? And reflecting on that makes me really grateful for the childhood he’s getting to have.
More language for the hard stuff
I think we’re simply better equipped today to talk to kids about a lot of things.
That’s not to say that growing up I didn’t talk about emotions or difficult subjects. But it feels like today we have so much more language around emotions and mental health, as well as more information about how to approach conversations with kids about complicated topics like race, sex, and more.
There are more books, resources and experts available to help parents navigate these conversations, and I’m grateful to have those tools.
Of course, I’m sure there are things we’ll get completely wrong, too. Maybe thirty years from now, Ben will be writing about all the things his generation understands that mine didn’t!
FaceTime!
For all I just wrote about wishing Ben could experience a childhood with less technology, there are also ways technology makes his childhood richer – including FaceTime!
My parents don’t live nearby, but Ben already recognizes them on the phone. He smiles at them, and they get to see him crawling around the house, eating dinner or just going about an ordinary day. I would have loved to have that with my grandmas!
For all the complicated things technology brings into our lives, the fact that Ben can regularly see and know his grandparents from hundreds of miles away is pretty incredible.
Growing up near family
This one isn’t necessarily a feature of “modern” childhood, but it is something about Ben’s childhood that I’m really excited about.
We live near so much of Matt’s family, which means Ben is growing up with grandparents, aunts, uncles – and now even a cousin!! – woven into his regular life.
I love thinking about the relationships he’ll get to build and the memories they’ll make together.
I’m sure both lists will grow and change as he does. After all, we’re not even a year in!
But it’s a good reminder and prompt to carry forward the pieces that mattered most while also appreciating all the good that’s available to kids now.
What about you? What parts of your childhood do you wish kids today could experience? And what parts of childhood today do you wish you’d had growing up?
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