Monday, 7/18/22: Talking about two sides of the same coin and the song I have on repeat

Happy Monday!

It’s a new week, which means it’s time for your next Monday motivation newsletter.

Read on below for some steps to a happier Monday, a short story and a roundup of positive thoughts to get your week started.

Three Steps to a Happier Monday

Each newsletter starts with three prompts to inspire gratitude and simple intention setting. Take a moment and jot down answers to these three questions. To give an example, I share my answers below.  

Step 1: What are three things I appreciated from the weekend? 

Step 2: What is one thing I can be excited about today?

Step 3: What is my intention for this week? 

GRATITUDE: I’m thankful for a chill weekend, time to read this book and the fun (but hard!) “Swiftie Sunday” workout class I went to yesterday.   

TODAY: After a rainy/cloudy weekend, I’m most excited to spend some time in the sun before and after work today.  

INTENTION: My intention this week is to revisit my 22 in 2022 list and check in on my progress (now that we’re halfway through the year!). 

Okay, your turn! And if you want to share your three steps, I am all ears. 🙂

Meaningful Musings: Two Sides of the Same Coin 

I’m currently working on some interesting projects at work that involve interviewing employees and leaders about their experiences at their companies. What’s going well? What would they change? What’s important to them?

In one of the focus groups, the participants were all agreeing on something they didn’t like about their organization. My co-worker who was moderating the group validated their thoughts and then said something that was – in my opinion – really insightful.

“But what about the idea of ‘two sides of the same coin?’”

“I hear you that [the characteristic] is frustrating. But what’s the flipside? Is there anything beneficial about [this characteristic]?”

Let me tell you: something magical happened with this reframe.

To demonstrate, let’s imagine the common complaint had to do with the abundance of processes to follow. When prompted to think about the flipside of working at a place with a lot of processes, one could identify that processes also help with saving time (you don’t always need to reinvent the wheel), onboarding of new team members, and ensuring consistent quality. It doesn’t mean processes can’t also stifle innovation or enthusiasm or critical thinking in some cases. But the negative parts are only one side of the coin.

The question helped to expand perspectives and refocus attention on other aspects. Aspects that were not inherently obvious when focused on only one side. 

Someone who I think does this “two sides of the same coin” idea really well is health psychologist and author Kelly McGonigal.

As a health psychologist, McGonigal used to tell people to avoid stress at all costs. Then, she came across a shocking study. 

In the study, nearly 30,000 US adults were asked about the amount of stress they’d experienced and whether they believed it was harmful to their health. Researchers found that high levels of stress did increase the risk of dying (by 43%), but only among the people who thought stress was very harmful. Those who reported experiencing stress but didn’t believe it was harmful had a lower risk of death than anyone. This lead McGonigal down a path of rethinking her take on stress, doing more research and digging into conversations that would ultimately turn into the book The Upside of Stress, in which she stresses (like what I did there?) the idea that stress is not always the villain, but in fact, can be a valuable resource.

As she writes in this article:

“Broadly defined, stress is what arises when something we care about is at stake. When people report the biggest sources of stress in their lives, topping the list are work, parenting, relationships, and health—the things that matter most. But stress can be an asset in all these areas. It can help us focus to meet a challenge. It can encourage us to reach out to others for support. Some psychologists argue that our body’s stress response exists because it helps us learn from our experiences. This may explain how stressful situations can ultimately make us stronger and smarter.”

Stress as an asset?! I know it sounds backwards. But her POV is not to ignore stress, rather, it’s to expand the way we think about it. Instead of only interpreting stress as a signal that something is wrong, what if we also thought about how feeling stressed communicates to us that something we care about is at stake? Or signals that our bodies are energized and prepared to meet the challenge in front of us? Thinking about the other side of the coin when it comes to stress may impact how we respond and the experience we have it. 

I think this idea – two sides of the same coin – can help us reframe situations and not just take things at face value. Of course, this shouldn’t stop us from addressing or dealing with the negative, but when we are hardwired to be on alert for just that, sometimes we need a little push to look for the positive side of the coin. Almost nothing is all good or all bad (barring a few exceptions).

I’ve had this idea on a loop in my mind the past couple of weeks and it’s helped me stay openminded when faced with minor frustrations and bumps. When I thought “Ugh, it’s raining!” recently, I also pushed myself to identify that the rainy conditions = a good opportunity to rest and lay low. Or when I found out an appointment would be starting 30 minutes late (after I had already arrived a few minutes early), I expressed gratitude that it happened on a day that I brought a book and built in some buffer time. And at work the other day when I felt intimated by a certain part of a project, I thought, “Now I know this is a stretch area for me. I’m learning a ton and eventually I’ll feel much more comfortable with this.” 

Of course, there’s always going to be situations when the negative side of the coin outweighs the positive (and vice versa!), but for many things, I think we could benefit from pushing ourselves to consider both sides. 

What do you think? Do you think you would benefit from considering the other side of the coin in certain situations? 

Hope this helps you this week like it’s helped me :). Have a great Monday!

On My Monday Radar

Sometimes we just aren’t ready to jump into our Monday to-do list right away. In case you want some content to procrastinate with, here is a roundup of a few positive things on my radar:  

• I finished Daisy Jones & The Six last week and, wow, I loved it. Another amazing book by Taylor Jenkins Reid! Daisy Jones & The Six came out a few years ago, but for some reason I had put off reading it. I think because it’s written as an oral history (so think a documentary-style story, where the band + their team sits down for individual interviews). I’d never read a book in that writing style, but once I got into it, I couldn’t stop reading. The story itself wasn’t all that special, but the storytelling is what got me. TJR is masterful at creating characters who are multifaceted and flawed, and yet you get attached to them fast. I would highly recommend and I cannot wait for the upcoming TV series adaption (release date TBD). Beyond ecstatic to finally hear the lyrics featured in the book paired with melodies.
• Setting clear boundaries to reduce stress. Enjoyed reading this article from Tiffany Dufu, author of Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less and founder and CEO of The Cru. I especially loved reading about her “micro happiness habits” or small experiences she incorporates into her daily routine to bring her joy. Great inspo! 
• I can’t stop listening to this sweet song. I went to my friend Brianna’s wedding the weekend before last and this was her first dance song with her (now!) husband. It is a cover of this song, and I think it’s so sweet and conveys such a beautiful message. I’ve had it on repeat this last week (nice choice, Bri!). 
• Orlando friends, my favorite Chicago restaurant – Summer House – is coming to Disney Springs!! OMG. I was on the restaurant’s website last week when I saw “Disney Springs – coming soon” listed under “locations.” It looks like it will open sometime in 2023 and be called “Summer House on the Lake” (it is “Summer House Santa Monica” in Chicago). The food is amazing, but hands down, the reason it is my favorite restaurant is because of the amazing COOKIES they sell in the bakery at the front. So. Good. If you live in the Orlando area, you must try when it opens. 

That’s all for today! I hope you found something in today’s newsletter that sparked motivation, made you smile or inspired a positive Monday thought. Don’t underestimate the power of starting small… a fulfilling week starts with just one fulfilling day. You’ve got this! 

Let’s make it a great Monday!
Megan